What if You Do
And Propostion 8
By: Karen J.
Co-Publisher, On the Gay
California's Proposition 8 is in serious
trouble. How serious? Hard to say. Lots of factors are in
play here: young voters, black voters, millions of dollars
funneled in by religious conservatives from all over the
country, big names like Ellen, Barbra Streisand, Rob Reiner,
Steven Spielberg finally getting on board.
Proposition 8 supporters --- on their mission to strip the
right to marry from gays --- have launched a very deceptive
advertising campaign. TV ads loudly proclaim that under the new
marriage laws, churches will be fined if they refuse to marry
same-sex couples, and children will be at risk because schools
will be forced --- at great expense --- to revamp
Lots of money equals lots of air time and it is having an
impact on the polls.
Happens in California That Significant?
If you don't live in California, you may
think it doesn't have a direct impact on you. You could not be
more mistaken. I am convinced that losing in California ---
California! Of all places! --- will
significantly set us back. Losing will embolden the "other
side" in ways that I don't even want to think
Why is the right to marry so important? Why not push for
equal rights through domestic partnerships or civil unions? Or
any other legal vehicle that doesn't have the effect of a red
flag in front of a bull --- a means to achieve separate but
Until recently, I was fairly blasé about gay
marriage. But one night, my views
I was out of town and my partner was calling me for our
nightly catch-up. The instant I heard her voice I knew she had
been crying. Now, you need to understand that this was
undoubtedly the most emotionally balanced person I have ever
known. She was a therapist --- an excellent one --- and rarely
did something catch her off guard enough to make her cry.
She had been at her parent's house visiting with family from
out of town. Somehow, the subject of pictures came up. Her
mother's walls were filled with family photos, including her
gay son and his partner and her grandson and his partner. She
said she wanted a picture of the two of us --- so that she
could put the three couples over there on the other
wall. When my partner asked why a separate wall --- why
not with her other brothers and their spouses --- the response
was, "Well, it's not the same as being married." Other family
members chimed in to agree.
And so began a very emotional exchange that ended with my
partner leaving in tears and the rest of the family horrified
at what they had unwittingly done.
These are wonderful, open, accepting people. And they adored
her --- she was the heart of the family. I was welcomed without
hesitation. The entire family traveled to San Francisco for her
nephew's commitment ceremony.
What does it say that this family, in all
sincerity, believes that our relationships are not the same?
That we belong on the "other wall?"
Separate is Not
Simply, it says that separate is not equal.
Does anyone remember separate but equal water
fountains? Bathrooms? Entrances?
Writing for the majority, Connecticut Supreme Court Justice
Richard N. Palmer wrote, "Interpreting our state constitutional
provisions in accordance with firmly established equal
protection principles leads inevitably to the conclusion that
gay persons are entitled to marry the otherwise qualified same
sex partner of their choice. To decide otherwise would require
us to apply one set of constitutional principles to gay persons
and another to all others."
That "inevitable conclusion" was a 4 to 3 decision.
This is no time to be taking the inevitability of anything
I've always regretted being out of town that night. And now,
I do not want to look back and wonder if I could have done
something to prevent the same thing playing out in someone
Which side is ahead in the polls? It's hard to
say. But clearly, money will decide this issue. The
2008 campaign season has made it blatantly obvious that
the side with the deepest pockets is practically guaranteed
victory. Sounds a lot like the state of our legal
I know that you are bombarded, daily, with pleas for
donations. Which you choose to respond to is, of course, your
decision. But, for me, this one is personal. I
can't just talk the talk. My support goes to
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Reader's Poll: Do you
have "other wall" stories that you would like to share
with OTGH readers? Do you believe the GLBT
community will have equal rights in your
Tell us what you think at
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
37 Seconds Well-Used is a
Co-Publisher, On the Gay
you seen the movie Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium?
While waiting for a prank to unfold, his cohort says, "Okay,
now we wait --- exactly 37 seconds --- "
To which Magorium replies incredulously,
"Wait??? NOOOOO!!! .... We breathe! We pulse! We
regenerate! Our hearts beat! Our minds create! Our souls
ingest! 37 seconds well-used is a
37 seconds. But honestly, you say, what
can I do with 37 seconds?
Hmmm. If we only consider health and
fitness, you can:
Hold your navel to your
spine, for an isometric crunch...or use the time to do 3 or 4
of them for reps! You can do this sitting in your chair,
driving your car, waiting in line...
Read the ingredients on that
package you're considering eating...is this clean food? Ask
yourself if you really want this in your body. If so, commit to
it. If not, put it back.
Give yourself a
back-of-the-neck rub --- or give one to someone
If you're sitting at work,
stand up and stretch your body. Reach your arms to the sky,
lengthen your spine (you can always squeeze your ab here!), and
take a deep breath. Release your breath slowly, bring your
outstretched arms down, let your vertebrae settle in where they
belong, and then if you have 15 seconds left, do it
Get a glass of water and
drink some. Put the rest nearby to sip on.
Look away from your work.
Focus on a distant spot for a few seconds. For the rest of your
time, move your eyes around as much as possible. Blink. A
Make a list of things to do
next time you have 37 seconds to use.
When you can think of
nothing else to do, take a deep breath. Through your nose.
(This activates nerve endings in the nose which calm the
Okay. That should get things
Now, what would you do with 37 seconds?
Send us your list.
The 37 seconds it takes us to read it
will be well-used!
[Editor's Note: Ann-Marie Giglio, besides
being a professional writer and the co-publisher of
On the Gay Horizon, is the owner of a
fitness studio focused on improving quality of life through the
mind/body connection. She is a certified ChiRunning and
ChiWalking instructor, AFAA certified Personal Trainer and
Group Fitness instructor and SCW certified Pilates reformer
instructor. She is currently working on a new book for GLBT
baby boomers --- Lighten Up! How to Exercise Safely
and Effectively After 50]
- - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Need Another 37-Second
Oddly enough, it just so happens that it
takes exactly 37 seconds to read the latest blog post ---
if you don't sing the song.....
On the Gay Horizon