I saw The Curious Case
of Benjamin Button over the weekend and that was one of
the dominant themes. Wonderful movie, by the way, and I'm sure
it won't be the last time you hear me refer to
"I was thinking how
nothing lasts, and what a shame that is." Benjamin said to
Queeny, the woman who adopted him.
It does seem a shame
unless you really think about it. Sometimes it's good that
things don't last. For instance, how many of us would have
wanted Bush's presidency to last any longer? How about a
never-ending visit to the dentist? Or the flu? Leftover
But it's scary for us to
think the things that mean the most to us won't last either.
That we might lose our health or our means of earning a living.
That someday we might lose the right to make our own decisions,
forfeit our independence. Perhaps the most frightening of all
is the knowledge that we will lose the ones we love --- or they
will lose us.
Because of his special
circumstances, the realization that nothing could last for him
was painfully obvious to Benjamin Button. For us, it's a truth
that we often try to deny or, at the very least, avoid. I think
that makes it even scarier and far more powerful when we do
have to confront it.
As baby boomers, we are
fast approaching the age where we will be forced to deal with a
whole lot of change. We can deny that we are aging until we hit
the inevitable brick wall and have no choice but to try to pick
up the pieces. Or, we can anticipate this next stage of the
journey and pack accordingly. And as gay baby boomers, it's
even more crucial that we start looking ahead. Right now,
today, we have the luxury of making choices. That won't always
be the case.
So, where do we
My favorite place to
start, no matter what I'm planning, is The Weather Channel. My
partner, the therapist, would have told you that
there's something wrong with people like me who can leave The
Weather Channel on all day. When I would happily greet
Marshall, Heather, Nicole, Jim, Stephanie, Alexandra, she would
remind me in that kind, but strained tone, "Those really aren't
your friends, you know...."
my idiosyncrasies aside,
the weather affects everything. Use it to plan and
it will play a huge role in deciding where to
spend the next twenty or thirty years. Did you see
that band of fluorescent pink making its way across the
midwest and up toward the northeast? Who wants to live
where ice storms knock out your power when it's like zero
degrees? Not me!
So, maybe it's time you
start a list. Write down, "What kind of climate do I want to
Here are some choices to
for you to consider:
Warm, sunny, and dry
year-round Typically warm and
humid, almost tropical
Four seasons, some snow,
Temperate, with cool summers
and some fog
Generally cool and rainy
Extreme winters and cool
summers (high altitudes)
Dry, hot summers, extreme
winters (flat terrain)
Short fall and spring, extreme
winters and summers
Warm, humid, little snow
I actually "borrowed"
this list from AARP. They have this fun tool that walks you
through a set of questions on how important certain features
are to you. Climate is the very first
consideration. Others are economy, culture,
recreation, health and education. It then matches your answers
with locations that fit your criteria. Give it a try ---
Relocating has been on my
mind for quite some time but there was something Benjamin said
at the end of the movie that really caught my
"What I think is,
it's never too late...or, in my case, too early, to be whoever
you want to be. There's no time limit, start anytime you
want...change or stay the same, there aren't any rules. We can
make the best or worst of it...I hope you make the best. I hope
you see things that startle you, feel things you never felt
before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of
view. I hope you challenge yourself. I hope you stumble and
pick yourself up. I hope you live the life you wanted to...and
if you haven't, I hope you have the courage to start all over
been a long time since I started all over. I used to have that
kind of courage. Do I still? We're just about to find
out. Stay tuned!
countless hours I've spent trying to decide where to
relocate made us realize just how big a step this is
for gay baby boomers. There are so many factors to
take into account. And, let's face it, we're
doing some trail-blazing here. We're the first "out"
generation to be thinking about retirement years with
absolutely no intention of going back into any closets.
We've worked too hard and fought too many battles not to
expect to reap the benefits during the next leg
of our journey.
may have time for a couple more "do-overs" but
why not make the effort to get it
right? We are in the final stages of
completing "Making the Next Move", a
workbook to help gays and lesbians plan
for what comes next --- whether it be to relocate or
choose to stay where they are. The emphasis being on
consciously making choices and not waking up one day to
find it's too late and we're stuck somewhere we
don't want to be.
not doing any pre-ordering for "Making the Next
Move" but we wanted to do something for those of you
that have helped OTGH get started. If it sounds
like something you might find useful, just email us
and we will put you on the list. This in no way obligates
you, but when we roll the workbook out, if you're still
interested, you will receive a 20% "thank you" discount. We'll
be keeping you updated as we get closer to
next step --- keep track of what you eat. Write it down. Every
These things that you eat
are your diet. Not Marie Osmond's or Atkins'. Your diet is
simply the food you consume. The stuff you use for fuel. Think
of it all as gas for your engine. Your body operates on a diet
of energy. What you use to produce that energy is
Keep this food diary for
the next week. Once you have it, you can begin to analyze
Are you getting 5-7
servings of fruit and vegetables every day? Are you drinking
1/2 your weight in ounces of water each day. For example, if
you weigh 140 pounds, do you drink about 70 ounces of water
each day? Coffee, tea, soft drinks, juices don't count! It's
good clean water that our cells need.
What about fat? Are you
eating too much? Not enough? Are you confused about
Keep that food diary for
the next week and then we'll talk about how to painlessly make
the changes to move you toward your fitness goals.
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